I'm rewriting the "hook" description of my dark fantasy novel, The Blood Witch. Let me know if you like it.
Thanks

Allysix, The Blood Witch, has been imprisoned in a secret location deep in the mountains for so long that many believe her to be only a myth from ages past. Lured by her bewitching magic, seventeen-year-old Jak is enticed into freeing Allysix, thereby unleashing her miasmic evil into the world.

Upon being freed, Allysix possesses the body of Jak's sweetheart, Brigette, and slaughters their village. Now Jak must fight the incipient evil and insatiable thirst that has been forced upon him. However, the witch's gift may be his only salvation.

Jak must battle, not only his own demon, but the diabolical dark magic that is awakening across the land, in order to make the choice that will save him and Brigette.